Imagine Where You Can’t Go Now…

I love this commercial. From the moment that my beloved 10 year old autistic daughter PanKwake showed me it. Of course, at first I thought it was just a joke. No way was it a REAL product. Well, the joke was on me. IT IS!

And I guiltily admit…I bought it. Yes, that’s right. I paid five quid (£5) on Amazon for a bottle of Poo Pourri.

You see eight years ago I had emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder. Since then my digestive system simply cannot tolerate high fat foods. Some of my favorites such as doner kebabs, curry, and pizza will inevitably result an hour later in a mad dash for the loo. A stinky number two. A poo. Not just any poo either but a smelly nellie from the belly. But seriously…it is a real and genuine shit-uation. Not just for me but for millions of others too.

I was genuinely hopeful that this product would provide a solution. So hopeful in fact that I joked with my partner Cookie Monster and PanKwake that I was going to cross-stitch and frame a little sign for the guest bathroom which said…

Please spritz 
Five times
Before you shitz.

Things began to go terribly wrong when first I received an email informing me that my order had been delayed. In fact, I had to wait almost a whole week for it to arrive. Nonetheless, when I saw the email saying that my order would arrive today, I excitedly informed the rest of the family (who find the whole thing hilarious of course).

Whether it was a result of a hectic couple of days or subconscious, I had no sooner closed the door on the delivery man and torn into the cardboard box when another kind of delivery called…I excitedly spritzed the bowl five times as directed (honestly I added a couple of extra for good measure). Then nature took her course…

I was disappointed. Sadly disappointed as I smelled…lemon scented shit. You will understand why I call this Home Crazy Home when I tell you that PanKwake and a reluctant Cookie Monster lined up to ‘inspect’ the product. Both of them agreed with my assessment, Poo Pourri was…for shit. I think Cookie Monster said it best when he said that it smelled as if I had farted washing-up liquid in there. I even went back five minutes later…thinking perhaps it just takes a bit to work. But alas no, it was no better then.

Now my shit stinks (yes, I admitted it). So perhaps if your were not as ‘fragrant’ as mine it would perform better. But then again the advertising lead me to believe that the product was meant for shit-uations such as mine. Sorry, Santa, clearly it is not.

So I guess it is back to drawing board for this shit-uation. I will say that I still LOVE those commercials and the £5 was well spent if they keep making those. But I guess it is back to Febreze air freshener until someone comes up with a product that truly does work.

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