Down But NOT Out…

Sometimes in life…things just don’t go the way you plan. Well, that is most of the time. But yesterday, I was blindsided.

I received a phone call from my doctor. I had gone to her a couple of weeks ago because I was having trouble with my right wrist. She sent me to the hospital for blood work and an x-ray. My blood work had come back already.

She was making a referral to a rheumatologist as my blood work showed a high rheumatoid factor. In other words…RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS.

We are all affected by our backgrounds…our family history. And rheumatoid arthritis is right up there with epilepsy in my family history. My beloved great-grandmother who raised raised me, Nanny, had this disease…for as long as I can remember.

So to say that fear was my first reaction would be a fair assessment. But then I did what this girl always does…I got online and began to educate myself.

I read about what it truly meant…not just what I remember from my childhood. Of course, I knew that treatments might have improved in the three to four decades. And I looked at all the things that I have control over…self-care and alternative therapies primarily.

As I read about RA I was actually a bit relieved. I have been beating myself up that the work on #HomeCrazzyHome is not getting done fast enough. That there are just days when I don’t have the energy. I blamed myself. Thought I was being silly. But now I understand. Now I know. That too is part of the RA. I am not lazy…I have a disease where tiredness is a common symptom. So I need to adjust my expectations.

I still have not worked out MY plan of action. Partly because I need more information…which will probably come from the rheumatologist. But already I have turned a corner.

This is just another obstacle to overcome!

Life is full of them.

Us 4 featureBut when you know what you want/where you are going…that is half the battle.

For me…I want a long, productive and HAPPY life with Cookie Monster. It has taken me half a life time to find this man. I don’t intend to waste a single minute of time with him.

Survivor…fighter…I have been called many things. And I will keep being those things…but here is another to think about…


Back all those years ago when I was the preacher’s wife, I remember a sermon about King David…actually about the young boy who fought a giant named Goliath. Even most non-Christians have heard that story.

What this preacher pointed out though was that Goliath was not David’s first battle…

But David said to Saul, “Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, 35 I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it.36 Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. 37 The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.” (1 Samuel 17 New International Version)

I will win this battle too. I am already collecting my stones from the stream. I too have faced down bears and lions…a plenty. I am even working on another post about how I fight all these battles…and remain HAPPY.

Self-pity has no place in that plan. So I am off to straighten the house…and to study this opponent and another that PanKwake may face.




2 responses to “Down But NOT Out…”

  1. Love this Tara – and of course your David and Goliath analogy. Beautiful pic of you and CM. Gotta say, that despite any tiredness and pain, I’m amazed at your energy and what you’ve achieved at the house.

    1. Thank you so much. Goal of finishing playroom this week…for Cookie Monster Jr. Think he will LOVE it.

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