I joined the gym yesterday and began special exercise classes for Gold, i.e. older, 50+. After struggling against unknown joint pain for months…and yes, No One Is Coming this time either. I made a decision. The same one I always make…to take back control. To walk out of this burning building as I have others. And a huge part of that is losing some weight…which will take the pressure off my joints.
But getting there yesterday was NOT easy. In fact, it was a battle. In my mind anyway.
You see on Sunday Cookie Monster mentioned that he thought I might have gained some weight. Just what every woman wants to hear, right? So, I stepped on the Wii. The first time in 349 days. Don’t you just love how it tells you all that stuff?
And whether or not I have gained weight the past couple of weeks, I still don’t know. But I was devastated to learn that in the past almost year, I have gained…
That is way more than I thought. And it sent me spiralling into depression. Hopelessness. Despair.
Then to add insult to injury, I had another doctor’s appointment on Monday. As you know, I have already given up on getting any answers from the ‘experts’. And it was pretty much the same old, same old. No answers.
Thankfully, I have been feeling better for the past month. But it was a reminder…
No One Is Coming! Save your own fat a$$!
So one of my goals for this month was to investigate the local leisure center. But the classes are early. And we are losing PanKwake’s amazing Mog. I was looking for excuses…not to go. But Cookie said he would manage PanKwake…and she ended up sleeping through the whole morning anyway.
I went. I joined. I exercised. And afterwards…I felt so much more energized. I was glad I had stuck to it. Forced myself to go. Even though, I was hobbling up the stairs by the evening with sore muscles.
But what does that have to do with Once There Was a Lion?
It is a story from the bible. A story about David, the shepherd boy and future king…
33 And Saul said to David, “You are not able to go against this Philistine to fight with him; for you are a youth, and he a man of war from his youth.”
34 But David said to Saul, “Your servant used to keep his father’s sheep, and when a lion or a bear came and took a lamb out of the flock, 35 I went out after it and struck it, and delivered the lamb from its mouth; and when it arose against me, I caught it by its beard, and struck and killed it. 36 Your servant has killed both lion and bear; and this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, seeing he has defied the armies of the living God.” 37 Moreover David said, “The Lord, who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.”
1 Samuel 17 33-37 New King James
You see as I begin this latest battle, I need to remember as David did…the other battles that I have fought…and WON.
The truth is…I have fought this specific war before.
This picture was taken in 1996…I had just started university. A twenty-eight year old, mother of four whose marriage was falling apart. I was questioning everything I believed. I was FAT…although that was to get worse in the next couple of year. As things got worse.
And this is me in early 2000. Within weeks, my twelve year marriage would officially come to an end. I would begin a new life in California…the land of my dreams. I had lost so much weight that I even got a job as a personal trainer at one of the major gyms in America.
Of course, fifteen years, two more children, and another failed marriage later, I am back to fat. Though not as bad as it got back then.
I am older. I am stronger. I am wiser. I am happier. I am loved and more loving than back then.
And while I will never…and don’t even want to…go back down to that size 10…I know that I have the skills to win this battle too.
Once there was a lion…and once there was a bear…and now they are no more. So what then is this uncircumsized Philistine?
If you think back, I am sure that you too have fought lions and bears in your life…and won. And even if you have not…no time like the present to get a bit of sling shot practice in.
And on the way home…my new resolve was tested. I walked through the Quadrant on the way to the bus…right past Krispy Kreme. I love their chocolate dream cakes…I mean LOVE. No quite as much as Cookie, PanKwake, and my other kids…but still.
Did you get that…I repeat…
I walked past!
Of course, it won’t happen over night. But I know that this giant too is gonna fall! Kerthunk!