Most Important Thing Your Child Needs

It is nine a.m. I have been up for four hours. And I am behind already.

When this began, I decided one thing that I could do was write. Yes, share my experiences on this blog obviously. But also my alt naughty side write and publish erotic romance to keep people entertained during this crisis.

Mornings are my best writing time. Honestly, the only time that my brain is firing fast enough to do so. If I don’t get up at five and write, then no new words get written that day. It is how my must works. Oh, I can edit old stuff later in the day, but not write.

Needless to say, my writer is frustrated. I feel as if the day was wasted. Gone with nothing to show for it.

I am managing to keep those commitments; thanks to old stuff that I can edit and release. And this is likely to be a quickie, blog-wise.

But honestly, my writer can bite me. I had something much more important to do today. The most important thing of all (well up there alongside Alan).

@PanKwake needed me.

When my alarm went off at five, well, I hit the snooze button. But when I finally got up at 5:10, the first words I heard were, “Mom, I’m bored.”

Yes, that writer wanted to scream. But the parent took over.

As she should. I might be a mother of six, but one thing I do believe is…

Every child a wanted child.

And every parent has the moral responsibility to put their children first.

Am I perfect? Hell, no. Ask my older children. Heck, I had screamed and yelled just a couple of hours before when @PanKwake wanted me to cook one of the hardest, most time-consuming items on her limited menu of approved foods at 1 a.m. But those failures are my deepest regrets.

So, for the next four hours, I entertained my exceedingly extroverted #ActuallyAutistic daughter. We went through the pile of old toys deciding what to give away and what to keep. But mostly we talked. About anything and everything.

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that this is the same child I took to the health visitor because she was not talking at two and a half. And while @PanKwake’s voice may sound like that of a much younger child, her insights, reasoning, and critical thinking skills are anything but. She is one of my favorite people to discuss things with.

Yes, we spoke at length about this current crisis. She says that this is purgatory for her. Not quite hell…yet. But certainly not the heaven of having face-to-face social interactions with her friends in the safety and security of our @HomeCrazzyHome. That is our number 1 job as #homeed parents to ensure that she has those opportunities.

But right now, we can’t give them to her. So, we have the obligation to be there for her when she needs us. And not just when it is convenient for us.

(Or specifically, I do, but Alan does his share because he’s that kinda guy. Note: That is NOT because he is a man but because he is not her biological father. He has just taken up the Daddy mantle.)

No, that is not always easy. Like at 1 a.m. when she wanted Mere-Mere pasta, aka mac-n-cheese, but named for her older sister who ‘invented’ this original extra-cheesy version. Between bringing the water to boil, cooking the pasta, and mixing it all together, it takes between half an hour and forty-five minutes. By which time I am wide awake and have trouble going back to sleep, or at least it is interrupted.

Parenting is the hardest job there is. But it is also the most rewarding.

More than a new iPad (Apple closed their stores and Amazon is prioritizing other things), more video games, dolls, or bikes, or anything else, the one thing that your child needs right now is…

You!!!

To spend time with them, do things with them, or just to chat as we did.

In some ways, this crisis has the potential to be the biggest blessing our societies have seen. It can show us the things that are truly important to us. (Unfortunately, both good and bad.) It can encourage us to examine ourselves, our priorities, and our values. It can be an opportunity to reflect or get back to nature. And it can especially be the chance to reconnect with our children and families.

But we must seize those chances. We must choose to look at the positives, the potentials. And yes, sometimes, we have to answer dozens of ‘why’ or ‘would you rather…’ questions. But this crisis shows us how incredibly blessed we are to have that chance. I encourage you to do just that. To enjoy your child.

@PanKwake is off to bed now. And I have barely managed to get writing in, but I am off now to cook and garden. I have more seeds to sow indoors now that I have at least some compost.

Goddess bless you,
From our @HomeCrazzyHome to yours

 

Published by Tara Cox

Writer of Literary Erotica Real-life, hot sex, deep meaning... In my day job, I am homemaker, home educator, urban farmer, and homesteader at our @HomeCrazzyHome.

2 thoughts on “Most Important Thing Your Child Needs

  1. Hi Tara, I hope it is ok with you that I contact you like this? I’ve been reading your blog for a long while now and look forward to reading about HomeCrazzyHome. I don’t usually send messages to bloggers as I feel it’s like being a stalker. However in this crazy time we’re in at the moment I just had to say Hi.

    I am a 50 something, feminist Homemaker by choice. Not many of us around that actually admit to it and are proud. I think that’s why your posts resonate with me so much. I was a midwife in a former life . I loved my job and I worked damn hard studying as an adult to get there but it became so political it became stressfull. So I quit and decided staying home was my role. And I’ve never been happier. I’ve always been a prepper, always hated waste of any kind so do it all now without thinking about it as it’s just our way of life. Always bought in bulk as well when I can as with a large family it’s cheaper in the long run. I have 8 children, with 6 still at home. I had no idea what Transcendentalism was until weekend when I read your posts on it,I sat there nodding and going “yes, uh huh” , wow. I am also a crafter, my first love is knitting. I learnt when I was 6 so a long time doing that. I taught myself to crochet but it doesn’t grow quickly enough for me as I have to think about every stitch. I love quilting as well which I’m slowly getting into., I’ve been collecting old jeans to make a big bed quilt. But have a large stash of fabric as well, some of it too pretty to cut into haha. And I love English Paper Piecing especially hexagons. We are home educators , Unschoolers. My youngest 6 have never been to school, they are ages 19 down to 5. My oldest 2 ages 36 and 32 went through the school system but if I’d have known about home ed then they wouldn’t have done. We are sure there is some neurodivergence here as well but nothing diagnosed as yet.

    Anyway stay safe and keep on being you. Lesley. In Staffordshire. X

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    1. Lesley,

      Thank you so much for taking your time to write this. I truly appreciate it at a time when I get so frustrated and feel like I am talking to a brick wall. After an initial surge of views, my numbers have dropped drastically on this blog. I have considered more than once saying to hell with it. I feel like we have been given a wonderful grace by the goddess these next couple of weeks to re-evaluate our lives and to plant the food we need for the winter. Yet, all I see trending on Twitter is stupid celebrities. Anyway, no use complaining. I wanted to just say that I have always said if there was just one person who read what I wrote and it resonated in their hearts and minds then I have served my purpose. Thank you so very much for validating that right now.

      Goddess bless you and yours,
      Tara

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