Yesterday, I wrote about Consent. How it is NOT just an #AutismParent issue. How it has become common practice for ALL parents to do stupid, embarrassing, and sometimes even dangerous crap to their children…WITHOUT consent. To treat children as personal PROPERTY rather than the little human beings that they are.
Then later in the day…this blog appeared in my Twitter feed…
It was the second article of the week that I had seen on Mental Health in schools. The other one was about how mental health issues had become so epidemic that schools were sending counselors into the classroom. Not for individual little humans mind you. The WHOLE blooming class!
What the H-E-double hockey sticks is happening here, folks?
Ya’ll know I am NOT a fan of schools to begin with…
Bullying – In a recent survey of 10K young people, 50% said they had experienced bullying. 50%…and that is NOT our #neurodivergent (where it is almost 100% by the way).
Homework – Another survey found that young people had an average of over 3 hours of homework per night…after spending seven to eight hours of their day in school already. Half of their time is taking up by school!
Testing/exams – The ChildLine National Exam Stress Survey revealed that 96% of the 1300 who completed the survey felt anxious about exams and revision, with 59% feeling pressure from their parents to do well and 64% saying they have never received any support in dealing with exams. (Mental Healthy)
Of course, these studies are dealing with youth. Those over 12, secondary students. But it starts earlier. Even primary/elementary students are feeling the pressure to SUCCEED!
Do you hear me, folks? Little humans as young as eight year-olds FEELING PRESSURE TO PASS A TEST…or they won’t get into the ‘right’ secondary. Then they won’t be able to get into the ‘best’ university. Which of course means they will not be a SUCCESS in life!
Here is the thing…and you won’t hear this one out of me very often…
IT IS NOT THE SCHOOLS’ FAULT!
Yes, Miss #RadiCoolUnschooling just said that the epidemic of mental health issues associated with education is not the responsibility of the education system.
Then whose fault is it?
Plain and simple…the ultimate responsibility for all of this rests squarely on the shoulders of parents. We have stolen our little human’s childhood from them.
And again I say…it is not just #neurodivergent little humans who are feeling the pressure. ALL of our little humans are.
Yes, the education system is a MAJOR part of that. It has its faults. It is badly broken. Yet more concerned with shifting the blame and policing home educators than correcting its draconian policies and reversing the growing #HomeEd trend. More worried about saving the system and their jobs than little humans.
Nevertheless #Parents we are the ones with the ULTIMATE #RESPONSIBILITY.
Whether it is confronting the school about unrealistic expectations…Or choosing a school based on something other than GCSE % or OFSTED reports…Or better yet #HomeED …or best of ALL #RadiCoolUnschooling our little humans…we have to do something to take the pressure off of them.
- GSCEs at 16 do NOT determine the rest of their lives…
- Homework is NOT the best way to spend the evening. The School had them for 7 or 8 hours. When is it your turn to be a family?
- And while we are on the subject…Scouts, Duke of Edinburgh, football, ballet, gymnastics…since when does every single moment of their young lives need to be scheduled?
- Oh and three years old is wayyyyyyyyyy too early to begin ‘school’…
Over the past fifty years, the school year has been lengthened…as has the school day. Homework has been multiplied exponentially. Tests have become daily almost. And what are the results? Are our little humans learning more, doing better, have a higher real earning potential than we did or our parents.
Not just no…but *F* NO!!!
The opposite in fact.
Is it any wonder that our little humans are experiencing #MentalHealth issues like never before?
Our expectations are KILLING our little humans.
It is time for it to stop. And it begins with YOU…not schools…not CAMHS (Child and Mental Health Services)…not the government. YOU!!!! You the parent.
Hug your child! Tell her that you are proud of her…just for being. That you are lucky and happy to have him in your life.
And laugh…LAUGH a lot! In fact…every time you feel angry…burst out in LAUGHTER! When you want to cry…start to laugh instead.
Take a trip together. No money…the park. When was the last time you actually visited a park together? Oh, and this time…don’t sit on the bench…get up off your fat butt and swing with your little human.
Make their favorite food for dinner…or try something completely new. Then enjoy it together. If it has been so long since you all sat together at the dinner table, don’t make them. Take the plates to them…watch them play that silly video game that they won’t leave. And comment…praise them…ask stupid questions.
Have a Family Night. Whether it be a movie or board game…or you learn that silly computer game. Oh, best way…let THEM choose what you are doing.
Tuck them in bed at night. Read them a bed time story. Something of their choosing. Oh…and if like PanKwake, cognitive death has turned them off of books, then ask them to show you a YouTube video of their choosing. Pay attention to it. Comment. And kiss them good-night…if they will let you…but ask permission first.
Talk with them. Not TO them…WITH them. It might be a bit one-sided if you have never done it before. And don’t push it…two minutes or five to begin with. I mean you just shocked their little system. Give them time to adjust.
Listen to them. Actually, listen. Take the them to actually HEAR their side of things. This is a lost art. But if we did this one…those counselors would be out of business…and our little humans would not spend years on Prozac.
STOP! When they need you…STOP. Whatever you are doing. Cleaning. Cooking. Work. Even sex. Make them a priority. All that other stuff will still be there when they are long gone. This is your one chance to give them a good start on life.
And above ALL else…
When they fail a test…when you are called to school AGAIN…when they are arguing, bickering, even fighting…
NO MATTER WHAT…LOVE THEM!
You see if we…the parents…set the example. If we slowed down our lives…took time to smell roses…to enjoy the little things…it would not be just our little human’s whose mental health improved…but OUR OWN.
We do not have as much control as we want to think about what happens…OUT THERE…in the big wide world. On our jobs or in the schools or with our governments even.
But we do have a say in what happens within our homes. If this is new to your family…it won’t happen right away. Little humans are smarter than you are. They will think that you just read some Crazzy blog somewhere. That it is just a phase. That it is not gonna last. So they won’t want much to do with this Crazzy crap at first. Maybe for a long while.
But that is where you do have control…over YOURSELF…your actions. Keep at it. Not pushing them. But yourself…even though they ignore you.
I promise you…Crazzy is 100% contagious. Just ask any of our friends who visit #HomeCrazzyHome. It don’t take the little humans long to drop all the pretense and embrace our Crazzy.
Our home might be Crazzy…but the schools, our jobs, and this world have gone INSANE. And for me…
I’ll take CRAZZY over insane any day of the week!
And not a single mental health issue in this neurodiverse #HomeCrazzyHome. Our mission is to spread the Crazzy. To help others to embrace the principles of…
- Unconditional Love…
- And #RadiCoolUnschooling.
Be they #neurodivergent or ‘normal’.